Thursday, October 15, 2009

what goes around . . .

This will be brief. My ramblings tonight are a bit stifled due to if I really put all that I feel I won't know how to cope.

My daughter is with her father for six months ~ out of state. She wanted to be with him because she has never lived with him and she is off to college in the fall.

So today I get word that her father (by genetics only) "strong armed her" the other day. What she tells me sounds worse. I have to balance between the drama and the truth. She did all the research of coming back home like within a week. She and her father haven't even talked about the incident.

I spoke to him today and as much as I don't like, respect or can't really stand him ~ I listened to his words. I didn't believe all that he told me about them ~ although I do (on the inside) agree with what he see's our daughter to be. I strongly disagree with his way of handling things and my daughter will probably come home.

I just feel like I have exposed her to the worse. My ex-husband and his ways. Her father and his ways. My God what kind of monsters to I meet.

And people wonder why I'm not in a relationship. Why I'm afraid to be aggressive. Why I don't make myself vulnerable.

I can't help but think, what goes around comes around. The cycle and pattern that so many of us fall under with mother and daughter.

I've got to go. My thoughts are scattered and I am in a place I haven't been in in a very long time. I don't plan on staying there ~ so I've got to go so I can get back to where I need to be ~ especially for my girl.

1 comment:

  1. I'm your first follower!!!

    I'm just now reading your posts. Have to dig in deeper to get the whole story. Mom's are just different than dad's. Although my daughter is only 10 and my ex is well, my ex. He tries, but it's not the same.
    Sounds like she has a good mom though.
    Be strong!

    Thanks for stopping by my site and leaving a message. Otherwise I might not ever have landed here!