I realized I am not making room in my life for what I want. This is not some revelation. But, I have some things that I really want to do and my mentality lately has been that of a teenager (“it’ll just happen, give it time”, “I’m tired, I’ll do it tomorrow”, “I’m sure there’s an easier way to accomplish this, let me try that instead.”)
I want to move. My daughter graduates from high school in May (wow, what a struggle!) I will right now apologize to my mother for any stress and strain that I put on her. I would also like to acknowledge the curse that my mother put on me (I’m sure this will sound familiar to some of you). “I wish you a daughter just like you.” Has that come true for anyone???? I got that plus! Anyway, college selection, ACT, SAT, senior year activities, this stuff with her father/daughter drama recently. Auugghhh!
To get back to the point, moving. Which means getting my daughter in college then I can focus on me. My job is great. I have an opportunity to travel with it and make a little more money, see the world, flexibility to see my daughter at school ~ nice. I can still move basically anywhere and keep my job ~ ain’t life grande! But I can’t do all of this unless I make room for it in my life. My house needs so much work from the outside in. It is overwhelming!! I have a lifetime of things to throw away and donate to charity. It needs some handyman work. As soon as I put my mind on it ~ I lose interest/energy and procrastination sets in and I’m back in the labyrinth of life again.
So it’s my day off today and I’m going to try to make a move. I do have to tell you a little misconception. In my profile it says that I live in the Virgin Islands. Well . . . that’s where I am planning to be in I hope a year and half or so. I am putting myself where I want to be and living in that time to help accomplish what I need to do to get there. (does that make sense?) I travel there quite often. My last trip was to find land/a home. I have friends that I have made through my travels who are helping me with the feat. I am no longer a visitor - it is my home – from the moment I stepped off the plane. (that’s another blog). I can transfer there with my job too. So it’s just me getting my stuff together and getting off my ass to make this happen. I actually live in the mid-west.
I think what sparked this blog today was the snow that is beating against my window. You’ve got to understand, I wasn’t raised here, came here for college and ended up staying. But I HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, the snow. My daughter’s graduation cannot come any sooner. I have been waiting for the class of 2010 to march down the aisle and start their new lives!!!! Selfish . . . maybe – but I really don’t give a damn! Get me out of this place!!!!! I want to go home!!!! Btw – my daughter can’t stand the cold either. She’s looking at warm colleges like in Florida (see she’ll be close by for visits when this move is in affect)!!!
So as you see, I have some frustration and motivation is beating against the window. I am my own worst enemy!!!
I am a sleeper. I can sleep until 12 in the afternoon. But for some reason I woke up (it’s 6:30 a.m.) With these words on my mind. Let’s see what I can get accomplished today. God knows I’m not stepping a foot outside - I don’t have to until Friday. Maybe all that white stuff will melt away by then! It’s been great talking to you – I’m out!
Wish me luck!
(P.S. you know getting up this early – I’m owed a nap this afternoon (damn it, is that procrastination talking again . . . sorry!)
Hey, read my next blog it's an extra insert to this one: procrastination pays off.